Disaster Area

Movies and Gender Roles

I just got back from staffing a diocesan youth weekend here in Seattle (appearances by both bishops - yay!). The theme was "Now Playing", basically a movie-themed weekend. I thought a fun game would be "guess the movie" based on a synopsis, a good review and a bad review - with any obvious details removed, of course. Well known movies only, of course.

I got my info from Amazon, as the bad reviews especially are easy to pick out with just a mouse click. One really interesting one star review was this one - see if you can guess the movie:

There's no way to put a good spin on this bad plot. The little meek heroine gives up her voice to get the man. Not too subtle, is it? The interesting woman in the movie is the smart, intelligent, proactive and powerful woman. Why can't they offer women role models who are powerful, smart and good? Powerful women are scary so they must be evil and seek to harm and diminish and denigrate other women. So much for sisterhood. It's very disappointing that in the 21st Century, we're still peddling this extremely negative message to little girls. And what must the heroine give up in order to have her man? Let's see...her voice, her talent, her home, her dreams, but alas, it's all worth it. Or so we're led to believe. Yuck. I am profoundly disappointed that these type of movies are still popular amongst parents and children alike.

At first I was taken aback, but quite quickly I was taken with how accurate the review was. Any guesses as to which movie it is? Answer after the jump...

Five Christmas Movies

With just a couple of days of work left in the year (for us employees of corporate giants at least) it's time to start thinking about entertainment options for the holidays. I thought I'd start by offering up my five favorite Christmas movies. So, without further ado, in reverse order:

#5 - A Christmas Story. Now twenty years old, this is a kid's eye view of the All-American Christmas from the  40s. When it was released it was a huge flop in the movie theaters, but became a cult classic due to TV runs, and now is a genuine mainstream classic. All Ralphie wants is a Red Ryder BB gun, but he's foiled at every turn, with several hilariously surreal moments along the way. A cable TV channel has showed this nonstop for 48 hours in the past (TNT, I think) at some point during the holidays, and it's well worth catching.

Bush on Brokeback

So President Bush was asked about Brokeback Mountain and the 30 second video of his answer is now apparently circulating the web like Mercury circles the sun - relentlessly and often...

Really, what did anyone expect him to say? You can see that he's thinking on his feet, buying time to come up with a good one-line comeback, doesn't quite get there, reiterates that he's never seen the movie, and moves on. Big deal. Did he say anything offensive? No, not at all. However, if he'd really been on the ball I'm sure he could've got a wicked punchline in about Golden Globes, though. But then I'm not sure that the White House employs joke writers in quite the quantity that Jay Leno and David Letterman do.

By the way, does nobody else think that it's a bit strange that the big breakout tragic gay cowboy movie story was written by a woman? And not only that, the woman who is famous (nah, let's say notorious is more like it) for writing The Shipping News (Amazon reviewer: "Tries way too hard, slow and dull" - which is, in my opinion, overly generous) which I had the great misfortune to see as a movie some years ago. Believe me, watching paint drying is absolutely fascinating compared to that windswept, rain soaked piece of dreary flotsam. I would have set fire to the video after it wasted two hours of my life, but it was just too darn wet to catch fire.

And just in case you think that maybe the movie makers ruined her perfectly good story, I offer you the woman's own biography in her own hand as evidence of her soporific skills... Before clicking that link, take a deep breath, gulp a few cups of strong coffee and keep the caffeine pills handy, because I defy you to make it to the end without keeling over of sheer boredom.

Phantom of the Oprah

Well, here's that frivolous post I was writing about. For her birthday last week one of the many gifts I got her was the DVD of the Phantom of the Opera movie. Now, I don't recall the movie making much of a splash when it came out, so I presumed it would be OK, but not great. We have seen the stage production four times, once on Broadway (missed Michael Crawford by four weeks, darn it), Vancouver twice and Seattle once. The best of those were the Vancouver performances, believe it or not, followed by Broadway (the guy who replaced Michael Crawford was a tad too high opera for my taste) and finally, the pretty poor Seattle performance (and IIRC, that was the one where two women talked behind us all the way through, grrrr.)

Anyway, you would think with almost 20 years of experience with the stage productions and a decent budget that the movie would have been at least a three star effort. The three main characters are critical - Christine, the Phantom and Raoul. Well, two out of three doesn't cut it, I'm afraid. Emmy Rossum does a nice job with Christine - very ingenue-ious, and Patrick Wilson is a pretty good Raoul. But really, Gerard Butler is awful, pathetic, terrible as the Phantom. I read somewhere that he had that "rock and roll voice" that Andrew Lloyd Webber was looking for (as if ALW would recognize rock and/or roll if it ran him over in the street...) Butler barely has a voice, never mind a particular style of voice. Rumor had it back when that he was in line to be the next James Bond. Please God, no!

Add to that a singular lack of imagination with the critical scenes and the whole affair is lacklustre at best. In the theatre, even the fourth time through, the chandelier rising and blazing to light never ceases to shock. In the movie it's kind of, "Ho hum, here comes the chandelier..." Call this the Oprah book club version (handsome and fluffy, but lacking substance.)

So it's a shame that they couldn't pull off a decent interpretation. For your amusement I suggest a visit to the movie review website Rotten Tomatoes. They collect all reviews and generate a rotten (less than 60% positive) or fresh score for every movie out there.

Some choice comments on the movie (a truly rotten 34% rating):

"Phantom has always been a spooky story filled with drama, suspense, romance, and horror. … until now."

"...feels like little more than a 2+ hour promotional video for perfume, jewelry, corsets and curtains."

"Should appeal to people who like musicals but cannot afford them, though this is not a particularly inventive nor a particularly cinematic adaptation." (and this is one of the positive reviews)

"I didn't see a single fat lady in the entire thing. That must be why it never ended."

"What passion and excitement there is in the work has been sucked out; it has become boring.... It is shallow, yes, but even shallow works need competent directors."

"Lloyd Webber’s dated songs are like goth-lite for the Michael Bolton set."

"portions of the movie have the feel of a photographed stage production. ...The crucial atmosphere of menace isn't there; suddenly, we're watching 'The Batman of the Opera.'"

"Takes everything that's wrong with Broadway and puts it on the big screen in a gaudy splat."

(one of my favorites here)
"Like being trapped in the frilly bedroom of an absurdly romantic, borderline psychotic 13-year-old girl for nearly two and a half hours. The story is garbled, unclear and at the same time, painfully thin."

"Where's Homeland Security when you need it?"

"Like overpriced costume jewelry, this tasteless, soulless contraption is sure to appeal to anyone who owns Celine Dion and Meatloaf albums."

"The movie version of Lloyd Webber's swooning 1986 horror operetta has been directed, by Joel Schumacher, as if Schumacher were the world's hardest-working upholstery salesman."

Oh well, I guess it could have been worse - it could have been a Tom Cruise movie...

Arsenic, a Sad Death and a Surprise Trip

Wow, has it really been five days since I posted?

Life in June was supposed to settle down, but if anything it's gone the other way. First I was encouraged to try out for a play that my church will be putting on in September - the old favorite Arsenic and Old Lace. Well, our esteemed directors would like me to play Mortimer Brewster - the character played by Cary Grant in the 1944 movie version. Of course, I can't possibly turn down a challenge like that, so that gives me something to keep me occupied during the summer.

Then we heard of the sudden death of a friend from brain aneurysm. Marj and her husband have been the very personification of selfless service in helping others and it came as a complete shock. Driving back from helping friends by lending them a car, Marj developed a quickly worsening headache. It was all over very suddenly, but life support kept her alive so that her organs could be donated. Even in death she continues to serve. Rest in peace, Marj.

Words fail me at this point, but one thing that strikes me about all-age faith communities is that there is a sense that death is a part of the fabric of community life. Hip, young, mono-age cultures don't get to see that, at least not right away.

In the middle of all this I was asked to represent my company at a meeting at Cambridge University. Yes, the fancy one in England, where Maggi serves. With a little side trip to the Paris Air Show, the next couple of weeks will be very interesting, not to say exhausting. Especially as I'll get back from Europe and turn right around a staff a week long high school camp.

Well, I'll try not to be a slacker the remainder of this week and see if I can post something actually thoughtful.

Here I Am, Brain the Size of a Planet...

Today marks the opening of the new Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy movie. The early indications were that it would be a high tech butchering of the material to make it appealing to non-Adams fans. Then from clips I saw, and the cast, it seemed that maybe it would be quite decent. On the day of release it appears from early reviews that long time Adams fans are more likely to enjoy it than others. Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times is by far the most visible movie critic in the US, and I always respect his opinion, even if I see movies differently. He sums up thus:

The movie was more of a revue than a narrative, more about moments than an organizing purpose, and cute to the point that I yearned for some corrosive wit from its second cousin, the Monty Python universe. But of course I do not get the joke. I do not much want to get the joke, but maybe you will. It is not an evil movie. It wants only to be loved, but movies that want to be loved are like puppies in the pound: No matter how earnestly they wag their little tails, you can adopt only one at a time.

Which is shame, because as much as I want to enjoy the movie for itself and my own enjoyment, it would be even better to know that it could be an avenue to Adams' material for the hitherto uneducated masses. Only time will tell. 

Even sadder, I'm so busy this weekend and coming week (Junior high youth weekend, fixing up the youth building on Sunday, Mariners game on Monday, music practice on Tuesday, youth group on Wednesday...) I might not see it for a week or so.

(Title of post courtesy of Marvin the Paranoid Android, voiced by Alan Rickman in the new movie and Stephen Moore in the 1981 UK TV mini-series.)

Comedy Movie Dancecard Smackdown

Bill Arnold, of New Jersey (soon to be California) emergent fame, discovered MSNBC's Comedy Film tournament.

But let me digress... For my non-US readers you have to understand that Thursday March 17, 2005 (yes, St Patrick's Day) marks the start of the US College Men's Basketball Tournament. It's basically a 64 team, single elimination (i.e. knockout) tournament that takes two weeks to wind to a conclusion. College basketball is a multi-billion dollar industry in which the prime talent (i.e. college basketball players) can not be paid even the cost of a long distance phone call. But maybe that's a topic for a whole other time.

For UK readers it's like the FA Cup condensed into 2 weeks, with wall to wall basketball at the weekends. 32 games will be played between Thursday and Friday, another 16 on Saturday and Sunday, reducing the initial 64 to the Sweet 16. The next weekend the 16 are reduced to the Final Four (always capitalized). The weekend after that features the semi-finals, and then finally, well, the final.

OK, enough background. Take that tournament concept and apply it to the 64 best comedy movies ever made and you have MSNBC's comedy film tournament. The selections are a bit Americentric (well, duh! - not even The Full Monty or much foreign stuff that was popular over here), but entertaining nevertheless. Just like a knockout tournament you get to pick the winner of each matchup, ending up with your own final four and eventually, your own champion comedy movie.

Personally, I think Bill's final four were OK, but his winner was the only crap movie in the bunch ;)

My final four?

From the Classics: Blazing Saddles (as opposed to Bill's Holy Grail)

From the Smart comedies: Princess Bride (vs Bill's Spinal Tap)

From the Saturday Night Live Alumni: Beverly Hills Cop (vs Bill's Groundhog Day)

From the "Broad" aka Stupid class: Ferris Bueller (vs Bill's Dumb and Dumber) I'm not sure Ferris Buller's Day Off belongs in the Broad category, to be honest.

My winner? Princess Bride hands down over all comers, no question. Bill's? Dumb and Dumber. Man, I so do not agree with him on that. I think I eliminated that in the second round (it beat Shaun of the Dead in the first round, losing to Spaceballs(!) in the second round.) But I respect his right to choose such a stupid movie ;)

So tomorrow, let the basketball begin, especially with local boys, the University of Washington Huskies being a #1 seed in the West. But for those of you that couldn't care less, there's always the movie tournament.

What The ?#$%!?

Karen (of Raw Faith fame) wrote me about having watched What the Bleep Do We Know (read my comments on Doug Pagitt's blog Heh, well I did say you can get some benefit from those movies - just be aware that it has a strange history. Nowhere in any of the publicity or on the movie's website does it mention the allegiances of the crew. I'm not sure if they credit JZ Knight herself in the movie (Roger Ebert didn't know it was her until someone told him afterwards). JZ has a big place about 50 miles south of here, so she's um, well known around these parts.

This led me to ponder on how nice I want to be on blogs. I think it's always more tempting for me to comment on a post or issue that I am critical of, so a natural tendency would be to come across as some sarcastic know it all. Wait, that IS me, darn...

However, I am a bit leery of being overly critical in commenting on blogs - but as you may have noticed, sometimes I can't help myself ;) Which is why I like Karen and Maggi Dawn and a few others who aren't afraid to tell it like it is when necessary, even if you risk alienating people once in a while, or getting branded as a hothead.

Speaking of straight shooters (one of my patented segues...), just in case you've never stumbled across her, you have to check out Heather Armstrong at dooce.com. Funny stuff. Right now I'm packing for a weekend away with 100 teenagers in a church 3 hours drive away. I get to just focus on leading music this weekend, though, so that will be cool. We're doing a cool alt-worshippy type service tonight based on Rite I Evening Prayer - it'll be interesting to see how that pans out.

I managed to put off bottling 5 gallons of beer (Widmer Hefeweizen recipe - very yummy) and some of the moving furniture ready for new carpet on Monday. Meh -they'll still be here when I get back on Sunday.